The Dress Size

I didn't used to be so concerned about my weight or dress size until I realized that it ballooned out of control. At 19 I was getting married and I was wearing a size 16 dress AT 19! I wasn't really concerned because I thought "Well if he he doesn't like my curves he wouldn't be marrying me" and so I continued to ignore it. Well my husband joined the army a few months later and I REALLY got big. We moved and he deployed.....well you guessed it I grew more. I had to start wearing a shirt and skirt because no dress would fit.... I had grown to a size 18. Well one move and deployment later we wanted kids so I went to the doctor and had my check-up and I was SHOCKED to discover I weighted 200 lbs! Luckily I hide my weight well. No one would have guessed I weighted so much, including myself. The doctor (very nicely) suggested I lose some weight to make it easier to get pregnant. Well it never happened, come to find I have a condition that makes it difficult to get pregnant. With the stress involved in trying to get pregnant I lost 20 pounds to make it a even 180, still wasn't enough. They still recommended that I continue to lose weight. Well with the stress from trying to get pregnant and get ready for another deployment and trying to get my husband promoted. We started to have some serious marriage problems. Just like any normal military couple. Only we felt alone and that no one had ever gone through this. Which only made the stress worse. What happened you ask. Well Aaron lost weight and I gained 10 lbs. Finally I said enough, I can't live like this anymore. So we solved our problems, I threw out my stash of junk food and went to the store and bought healthy food. Finally I started to lose weight! 1 month to deployment I started to go to the gym more and more. I was losing weight like crazy. Well it finally came down to pulling up my pants with a belt on or buying new pants. So I told Aaron and we went and got me a few pairs of jeans that weekend. They no longer fit. None of my clothes fit. Since Aaron has deployed I have lost 20 lbs to make it a total of 50 lbs that I have lost. Since January of this year. Finally my weight is getting back to were it should be. I got curious tonight about exactly what my dress size was. So I got out the dress I haven't worn since I was 16. (you know the one you save in hopes you'll fit in again) and to my surprise it fit better than when I wore it last. Guess what size it is.... (drum roll please) it's a SIZE 8!!!! That's right I went from a size 18 to a size 8! Well I was wondering if I fit in a size 8 how does my wedding dress look on me now? I got it out of my closet, put it on and got it buttoned halfway before my arms wouldn't reach anymore and it was still loose. I had to stick my stomach out like I was pregnant to get it to fit the way it used to! No wonder people were asking us when we were due. All I could think of was "WOW! I was FAT!!" Thank you GOD for a wonderful man who would take me when I was THAT big. If he thought I was beautiful then how can I tell him that I'm not now. When it finally shows on the outside....what he has always seen on the inside. I would have never made it to where I am now if it wasn't for that wonderful man who made me feel beautiful no matter how heavy I got. If it wasn't for him cheering me on and giving me that support to lose the weight I would have never lost it. THANK YOU SO MUCH AARON!!! I LOVE YOU . The NEW size 8 me!

The Important Things

Well it's been over a month since Aaron deployed and I have to say it's been REALLY hard. A lot harder than the last deployment that we had and I think I've figured out why. Last deployment we were still working on becoming a couple, a unit. Now that we've had a while to learn it's hard to give up that support system that you come to depend on a daily basis. It's hard to go back to being a single for the most part. But for the important part you still have each other. The Births, Anniversaries, Holidays, New jobs, Graduations, the things you will treasure for the rest of your life. You learn to forget the unimportant things and to forgive easier. It's funny that for some people it takes a deployment to remind you of how good you have it and although being married is FAR from easy it is MORE than worth it. If I have learn one thing in this past month it's to hold on to the important things like a phone call once a week, secretly hoping that a letter will be waiting in the mail box when you get home, the pictures he sends, the sound of his voice, the way he can make everything better with a single hug, his touch and smile, the way he can make you laugh without any effort at all, the way he makes you feel safe, cherished and loved with a single look. I pray that I never forget the important things in our marriage and that I don't clutter it with the everyday hassles that plague us through out our lives. I pray that you don't forget the truly important things and that you never forget to say I LOVE YOU when you part and mean it. Because you never know when they will be gone, whether for good or just a little while.