*screaming in my heart*

These last 2 months have not been fun. I finally made it back home utah for a visit. I remembered too late why I really don't like utah mormons that much. Yes the is a diffrence if you have to ask you then need to get away from utah for a summer. Then my husbands buddy got hurt and it really shook us up. Thank God he will be ok. But it just reminded us of how quickly all of it can be over. Then I came home and my a/c breaks while I am out on a really humid day and I'm on the 2nd floor too. By the time I get home it was 100 degrees in my house my thermostat on the a/c only goes to 95 my thermometer on my clock says 102 so I figure 100 degrees well I had every window in the apartment open and the door wide open every fan I owned going and the matinence guy tells me the earliest he can have it fixed is in the morning. Then about 3 days later I agree to become the company FRG leader! If u don't know what that is I'll dumb it down for u. I am in charge of 80-90 families! Its like a being a babysitter,boss,volunteer, and the activies chairman all in one. Yeah usually the company commanders wife does it but our new CO is single and the only person willing to do it is the PRIVATES WIFE!!!!! One of the LOWEST RANKING persons in the company! Don't ask me why I agreed to do it. I'm just mental just ask my doctor. Oh then 3 days later I crash my husbands truck. The newest of our 2 cars. Yeah these last 2 months have sucked. But I have also been blessed. I got to go home and see my family, my husband was not injuried in an attack, I wasn't seriously injured in my car accident. I am extremely grateful to my Heavenly Father for watching out for my husband and me. Things could have been so much worse I know that and I am grateful that they weren't. But sometimes it just feels like the whole world is picking on me all at once and not in little bits. Maybe its because my main support is 8,000 miles away and I don't have anyone to share the burden with, at least not easily. Maybe I am having another nervous breakdown but more slowly this time. Maybe its residual affects from my nervous breakdown. Maybe I'll never know but sometimes I just want to be held and the one person who can do that isn't available at the moment. Only those how have or are going through a deployment know what a struggle it is to keep your head up everyday for your soldier. Some days we can't do it and we stay home. Other days we do but we feel like we are breaking inside. Most days we do what we have to do then at the end of the day we lay down to go to sleep and we look at the empty spot next to us and just cry the dispare, frustration, fear and loneliness away until we can sleep. Lately it seems like that is all I have been doing. I know I'm being selfish but sometimes u need to be a little selfish to get through the hard days. Be grateful for everything that you have. Thank God everyday for the gifts that you have. Don't forget that in a single moment you may lose everything and everyone that is important to you. Live everyday like it is the last you'll have. You'll never regret it. Promise.

update

Hi everybody I just wanted to send a quick update and to ask if anyone has any wedding pictures still or any that u think aaron might like to see please email them to me so I can send them over to him. Aaron is doing good tired and ready to come home but he is hanging in there. For those who have sent letters or packages thanks that is the life blood over there every bit counts. If you need his address email me I'll be glad to send it to you. We have had an exciting month I was in a car accident a week ago I am ok but sadly the truck needs to see a body shop but in a few weeks it should be good as new. And in the when it rains it pours category our air conditioner broke and I had to sleep with my second floor apartment @ 95+ degrees. (luckly the apartment complex replaced it the next morning.) Our car has been having troubles but nothing that some TLC and a bit of money won't fix. We have been greatly blessed this last month that neither one of us was seriously hurt with our seperate accidents. Thank you to everybody who has been praying for us. It has helped more than we could imagine. Thanks to Chrissy for helping me with Aarons christmas present. As soon as he gets it I'll let you know how he likes it. If anybody wants to send Aaron anything for christmas you will need to send it by the end of october first of november. It can take up to 2 months for him to receive a package so please keep that in mind as u send him things. Thanks for all the support and prayers that y'all have given us. Love, Anna