*screaming in my heart*

These last 2 months have not been fun. I finally made it back home utah for a visit. I remembered too late why I really don't like utah mormons that much. Yes the is a diffrence if you have to ask you then need to get away from utah for a summer. Then my husbands buddy got hurt and it really shook us up. Thank God he will be ok. But it just reminded us of how quickly all of it can be over. Then I came home and my a/c breaks while I am out on a really humid day and I'm on the 2nd floor too. By the time I get home it was 100 degrees in my house my thermostat on the a/c only goes to 95 my thermometer on my clock says 102 so I figure 100 degrees well I had every window in the apartment open and the door wide open every fan I owned going and the matinence guy tells me the earliest he can have it fixed is in the morning. Then about 3 days later I agree to become the company FRG leader! If u don't know what that is I'll dumb it down for u. I am in charge of 80-90 families! Its like a being a babysitter,boss,volunteer, and the activies chairman all in one. Yeah usually the company commanders wife does it but our new CO is single and the only person willing to do it is the PRIVATES WIFE!!!!! One of the LOWEST RANKING persons in the company! Don't ask me why I agreed to do it. I'm just mental just ask my doctor. Oh then 3 days later I crash my husbands truck. The newest of our 2 cars. Yeah these last 2 months have sucked. But I have also been blessed. I got to go home and see my family, my husband was not injuried in an attack, I wasn't seriously injured in my car accident. I am extremely grateful to my Heavenly Father for watching out for my husband and me. Things could have been so much worse I know that and I am grateful that they weren't. But sometimes it just feels like the whole world is picking on me all at once and not in little bits. Maybe its because my main support is 8,000 miles away and I don't have anyone to share the burden with, at least not easily. Maybe I am having another nervous breakdown but more slowly this time. Maybe its residual affects from my nervous breakdown. Maybe I'll never know but sometimes I just want to be held and the one person who can do that isn't available at the moment. Only those how have or are going through a deployment know what a struggle it is to keep your head up everyday for your soldier. Some days we can't do it and we stay home. Other days we do but we feel like we are breaking inside. Most days we do what we have to do then at the end of the day we lay down to go to sleep and we look at the empty spot next to us and just cry the dispare, frustration, fear and loneliness away until we can sleep. Lately it seems like that is all I have been doing. I know I'm being selfish but sometimes u need to be a little selfish to get through the hard days. Be grateful for everything that you have. Thank God everyday for the gifts that you have. Don't forget that in a single moment you may lose everything and everyone that is important to you. Live everyday like it is the last you'll have. You'll never regret it. Promise.

Life's Crazy Day

Just a quick update about us and Aaron's deployment. They have moved the deployment date up it is earlier in that same week if you want the exact date give me a call. I got a transfer with my job so I will be working more hours at a nicer theater with people my own age. All that it left to do is the paper work Bleck! We''re going to try and give everyone a call before he deploys But just in case he doesn't get you. He is what he wants you to know. Hi I'm gonna be ok. I'll be gone for 18 months. But it will go by fast. If you need my address let Anna know she will get it to you. Try not to worry about me I'm going over with a great bunch of guys. Pray for me and my company while we are over there. I love you all. Thanks Aaron. During Aaron's deployment I am going to have a prayer list this is for the guys in Aaron's Company who would like us to pray for them. I have 2 names so far Aaron and our friend Justin Stuart. If you would like to participate please pray for them that's all you have to do. I will update the names here in my blog. I love you all Anna Oh if you wondering how the clomid did. Sorry better luck next time. Hopefully by 2010 we'll have a baby in the family. Anna